How to Write Personalised Apology Letter (with Samples)

10 min read

Human beings get frustrated at times, and when we do, we might find ourselves saying things that may hurt the other person or simply messing up. After calming down and realizing you messed up, it is time to own up to your mistakes and say sorry or apologize. 

Writing a personalized apology letter is considered one of the most effective ways of clearing your conscience and thoughts. It is also the best method to make the person forgive you and most likely forget the wrongdoing. However, for some people, writing an apology letter is the most difficult task. Saying sorry is important in your personal life as well as your career. Therefore, it is good that we all master the skill and art of saying sorry.

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What Is an Apology Letter, and What Does it Accomplish?

An apology letter is a letter that shows you are remorseful. It is a letter- for not accomplishing a task, or for having done something wrong, owning the mistake and showing genuineness in accepting wrongdoing and recommending possible solutions, if any.

An apology letter’s purpose is to tell the other party that you are sincerely sorry for the hurt you caused them, whether knowingly or unknowingly. It is a great way of accepting your faults and saying you will try to do or act better in the future.

Situations that Warrant an Apology

The following is a list of professional situations and personal circumstances that may require you to draft an effective apology letter;

Business situations / Work and Experience

Inbusiness there are situations that warrant the use of an apology letter. As human beings we are prone to making mistakes and knowing when to apologize is important.

Here are some of the instances at work that may warrant the use of an apology letter:

  • Being unable to answer work emails or phone calls sooner than expected.
  • Arriving at a meeting late
  • Unexpected legal problems that might delay a project, for instance, the government taking too long to approve a project or a vendor that failed to deliver last minute
  • Misunderstandings about project deliverables
  • Inability to deliver accomplish a task according to the client’s expectations or on time.
  • Disagreements overpricing and scope of work
  • Last-minute unexpected costs that you have to include in your bill.

Personal situations that may warrant an apology

During your daily interaction with your friends, family, and colleagues, you may find yourself wronging them in one way or another. During such times, it is important that you write them an apology letter to show that you acknowledge your mistakes and that you are sorry.

Here are some of the times you may want to write an apology letter for personal situations:

  • Unknowingly saying something mean or inappropriate to a family, friend, or any loved one. Sometimes it might be knowingly because we are agitated.
  • Attending parties late
  • Failure to reply to a friend’s or family member’s message on time.
  • Money related disagreements, especially with loved ones, on how much to spend on trips, gifts, groceries, etc.
  • Forgetting to bring gifts to loved ones on special occasions such as birthdays, graduation ceremonies, or when they accomplish something new in their lives.

Why are Apologies Important In Any Situations?

Most people may have already leaned the need for apologizing when they have hurt others- unknowingly or otherwise- but sometimes we don’t really know why apologizing is important and what a good, sincere apology accomplishes in other people’s lives or even to our minds. Psychologists and researchers have pinpointed various reasons why we need to apologize anytime we have violated any social rules.

A good and sincere apology re-establishes that you understand the rules and agree that they should be adhered to. This initiates a sense of security for the others because they know you agree that hurtful behavior is not allowed.

Its also re-establishes the dignity for the person you hurt. Writing them an apology to let them know that you are aware it was your fault, not theirs, allows them to heal and feel better, and it helps them not feel guilty for the mistake.

Additionally, a genuine apology allows you to let people know that you are not proud of what you did and that you will not repeat the behavior in the future. This makes people understand you as a kind person who is generally careful not to hurt others, thus allowing them to put their focus on your better virtues rather than your worst mistakes.

Lastly, apologizing plays an important role in repairing broken relationships. Apologies get people to talk again and generally make them feel comfortable with each other once again. Apologies help both parties to put the conflict behind and move on more easily.

Failure to apologize when you have hurt other people or when you are wrong can be damaging to personal and professional relationships. This can lead to rumination, anger, resentment, and hostility among friends, clients, or even loved ones, and these may only grow over time, leading to strained relationships and broken trust.

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Ways to Apologize

Naturally, apologizing does not come easily for most people because we tend to get too wrapped up in our own lives and ego to consider how we might intentionally or unintentionally hurt others.  We need to learn better ways of saying sorry- because a sincere apology is necessary and perhaps the only way to repair an otherwise broken relationship.

Here are some of the most effective and unique ways to apologize to someone we’ve hurt.

Acknowledge that you did wrong

The primary step of apologizing to someone you have hurt is acknowledging the error and demonstrating to the other party that you understand why you hurt the other person. Acknowledging the mistake and demonstrating an understanding of why the words or actions were hurtful to the other person creates an impact on the injured party, more than just saying “sorry” without an admission of guilt.

Be sincere

While apologizing, try as much as possible to be sincere and not following this current society’s norm. Do not try to justify your wrongdoing in your apology. Instead, show that you recognize your hurtful words or actions, take responsibility for the mistake, and show the person you hurt your willingness to change in the future.

Ask for forgiveness

Asking for forgiveness from the people you have hurt gives the other party a chance to react and respond. Be patient with them and don’t expect them to forgive you easily or there and then. Whether or not they come around, asking for forgiveness is an important gesture as it allows them to either accept it or leave it.

Empathize with what the other person felt and express regret

When apologizing, it is important to understand the value of expressing regret. Taking responsibility for your actions is good, but so is empathizing by making the other party recognize that you feel bad about hurting them and you wish you hadn’t. They already feel bad, and they would like to know that you feel bad about them feeling hurt.

Make amends

Once you have recognized what you did, why you did it, and why it is wrong, you need to find ways to make things right. Tell the other person what you intend to do in the future to prevent another similar situation. You can achieve this by providing a plan for future Scenarios or stating how you will act differently in the future.

Show them that you have changed

While apologizing, demonstrate to the other party the amount of time and effort you are making to avoid a similar error in the future. Taking time to correct the mistake you made informs the other person that you are willing to admit your mistakes, and it shows a sincere desire to atone for a mistake.

Try to sweeten the deal

You can achieve this by compensating for your mistake with something good for the person you hurt. You can buy them a bouquet, write them a personalized note, or by telling them that your gestures are not just about relieving yourself of guilt; rather, they are aimed at making them feel better. You can also sweeten the deal by apologizing repeatedly and sincerely.

Elements of a Good Apology Letter

If you can master the six crucial elements of the apology process, then you are sure to make a good impression. These elements apply whether you apologize for a personal mistake or apologize on behalf of a team or a business.

The following are the elements of a great apology letter;

Genuinely say you are sorry and don’t add a statement that invalidates your apology. For example, “I’m sorry, but… This does not show your willingness to acknowledge that you were wrong; therefore, the whole apology does not positively impact the other person.

Own the mistake

You must demonstrate your willingness to take responsibility for your actions to the wronged person so that they can heal and move forward more easily.

Describe what happened

Explain to the person you hurt why you did what you did, what happened, and why you feel it was hurtful to them. Show them that you feel bad for hurting them. While at it, remain focused on your role rather than blaming them for what happened.

Have a plan

Try to make the wronged person understand that you plan to make amends or intend to fix the situation.

Take responsibility for the wrong done

Sometimes, it is not easy to own up to your mistakes, and it takes high-level maturity to do so. However, it is a good thing to admit that you were wrong and apologize.

Ask for forgiveness

A little vulnerability goes a long way towards proving that you are genuinely sorry and that you mean what you say.

Sample Apology Letters

Sample Apology Letter for Mistake at work

Dear Jane,

I sincerely apologize for mixing up the sales and marketing files for uDecor. Limited and Cop décor limited. I understand that my careless mistake had a negative impact on your sales pitch and almost lost us our new client.

I am deeply disappointed in my oversight, and I regret any stress or pain that I may have caused you and the team. I have already bought two colored files to separate the files and have labelled each of them accordingly. I’d like to assure you that something like that will never happen again on my watch.

I sincerely ask that you find it in your heart to forgive me. I hope that my mistake has not damaged my relationship with you or the team.

Sincerely,

Richard

Sample Apology Letter to a customer

Dear Mr. Martin

We would like to openly apologize for the late delivery of your order 873-363 that was scheduled for delivery on the 4th January 2021 but arrived two weeks later.

We are deeply sorry for the inconvenience that we caused. As you may already know, we had a long holiday, and our delivery personnel had not yet reported back fully to work.

We had long queues, and we had to ensure that all our customers were tended to, hence the two-weeks late delivery. As you had to take three days off work to ensure that you were home for the delivery, we would like to offer you a gift voucher for the amount of $300 valid for the next three months.

We highly value all our customers and would like to maintain our relationship with you. We hope that you accept our sincere apologies as we are confident that this won’t happen again in the future.

Sincerely,

Marcus Greenwoods

Sales Manager

Sample Personal Apology Letter

Dear Margaret,

I am sorry.

I have come to realize that it was wrong for me to have shouted at you at your birthday party. It is not the kind of words that you should expect from your best friend.I don’t know what came over me to say what I said to you. What I said was not even relevant at all, and I feel so embarrassed about it.
I hope that you find it in your heart to forgive me for what I did. If there is something that I can do to fix the harm that I made, please let me know. I promise never to do that again.

Your Best Friend

Emmy

Free Downloads (Personalized Apology Letters)

Have you recently wronged someone and you want to draft an apology, but you are worried that your words won’t come out right? Download our free and premium apology letter templates today to guide you in customizing your apology letter and make the wronged person feel better.

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    Tips for Writing Apology Letters

    The following three tips will be very valuable to you when drafting the best apology letters that can help create a positive impact on the wronged party and probably help them heal and move forward easily:

    Be sincere

    When writing an apology letter, make sure that your words are sincere and authentic. Don’t just say sorry; instead, genuinely show the other party that you care about how you made them feel and that you actually feel bad about what you did. Mean your words.

    Be concise

    Your apology letter should not be long and too wordy. Instead, you should be brief, concise, and straight to the point.

    Be selfless

    The art of apologizing requires you to be selfless and take full responsibility for any hurtful behavior. You need to act like the bigger person and take the blame instead of shifting the blame to the wronged person. Think about what the other person felt and try not to think about yourself for once. This shows your willingness to take the blame, and it helps make the other person feel better and forgive you for the mistake.

    Writing Apology Letters can be Challenging

    People find it difficult to write apology letters because they feel that they will be admitting to mistakes, and they think making mistakes reflects badly on their characters. The truth is, the human is to error, and apologizing is the only way to repair relationships. Failure to apologize or make a feeble non-apology is worse and can damage personal or business relationships.

    Some people assume that making mistakes makes you a bad person; thus, they feel ashamed whenever they make a mistake. When you feel ashamed, you find it difficult to accept that one mistake does not reflect on your character as a whole.

    Others worry that if they apologize, they will open the door for more accusations or that they will have to take full responsibility for wrongdoing. There is a likelihood that this will happen, but not apologizing makes the situation even worse and may be toxic to personal and workplace environments.

    While Others get defensive when writing apology letters, thus invalidating the whole apology.

    FAQs

    Conclusion

    An apology is a statement of remorse that you write to someone you have wronged. Although writing an apology is difficult for some people, it is very important in personal or business relationships as it serves a lot in preserving and mending broken relationships. While apologizing, you must avoid making excuses for yourself. Rather you should take full responsibility for your actions. Once you start making excuses, it makes you sound like you are trying to shift the blame away from you to others or something else, thus invalidating the whole apology.